Parenting with ADHD Through New Year and the Return to School
The New Year can feel like a strange in between space for families. Christmas has finished,

routines have unravelled, sleep has drifted later and structure feels like a distant memory.

For parents with ADHD, this transition can feel particularly heavy. The pressure to reset,

organise, plan and get everyone back into school mode can be overwhelming, especially

when your own brain thrives on novelty but struggles with consistency.

If you’re parenting neurodivergent children too, the return to school can bring big emotions

for everyone. Anxiety, resistance, emotional outbursts and exhaustion are common at this

time of year. If this is you, take a breath. You are not behind and you are not failing. This

season is challenging and it makes sense that it feels hard.

The key is not to aim for perfection, but to gently rebuild rhythm in a way that works for your

ADHD brain and supports your child’s nervous system.

Why New Year transitions are extra hard with ADHD

ADHD brains often struggle with transitions. The festive period is full of novelty, late nights,

treats, social interaction and disrupted routines. While some children love this freedom,

many struggle with the lack of predictability. Parents with ADHD can find themselves

swinging between enjoying the break from routine and feeling completely unanchored by it.

When school approaches, the mental load ramps up quickly. Uniforms, packed lunches,

bedtime routines, alarms, emotional preparation and managing your child’s worries all land

at once. ADHD makes prioritising and sequencing these tasks more difficult, which can

trigger overwhelm and avoidance.

Understanding that this is neurological, not a personal failing, is the first step to approaching

January with compassion rather than criticism.

Start with gentle expectations

One of the biggest traps in January is trying to fix everything at once. Early nights, healthy

meals, tidy house, positive mindset, smooth school mornings. This all or nothing thinking

often leads to burnout before the first full week back.

Instead, focus on small, achievable shifts. Ask yourself what would make the biggest

difference right now. Often it’s sleep. Gradually bringing bedtime earlier by 15 minutes every

few nights is far more effective than a sudden reset that leads to resistance and meltdowns.

Progress comes from consistency, not intensity.

Rebuilding routine without overwhelm

Routine is regulating for neurodivergent children, but it needs to feel safe and predictable,

not rigid or punishing.

Visual routines can be incredibly helpful. A simple morning or evening checklist reduces the

need for verbal reminders and lowers stress for everyone. Keep it short and realistic. For

example, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, shoes on.

For parents with ADHD, routines work best when they are external. Use alarms, reminders

or visual cues rather than relying on memory. Pair tasks together where possible, such as

packing lunches while dinner is cooking or laying out clothes while brushing teeth.

Remember that routines are there to support you, not control you. It’s okay to adjust them as

you go.

Supporting children emotionally as school returns

Going back to school can stir up anxiety, especially for neurodivergent children who may

struggle with transitions, social demands or sensory overload. Behaviour that looks like

defiance is often communication.

Create space to talk about worries without rushing to fix them. Simple phrases like “It makes

sense that you feel nervous” or “Going back can feel hard after a break” help children feel

understood.

Prepare gently by talking through what the first day will look like. Who will be there, what

time you’ll leave, what will happen after school. Predictability helps calm the nervous system.

If your child is resistant or emotional, stay curious rather than reactive. Regulation comes

before expectation.

Managing your own ADHD during the return to routine

Parents with ADHD often put themselves last, especially during busy transitions. But your

regulation matters. Children pick up on your stress even when you try to hide it.

Reduce decision fatigue wherever possible. Simplify meals for the first week back. Repeat

outfits. Keep evenings calm and predictable. You don’t need to do everything at once.

Build in moments of rest for yourself, even if they are small. A quiet cup of tea, a short walk,

a few deep breaths before school pick up. These moments reset your nervous system and

help you respond rather than react.

Be realistic about your capacity. January is not the time for drastic life changes or unrealistic

goals. It’s a time for grounding.

What not to do in January

Avoid comparing your family to others. Every child responds differently to transitions and

every parent has different capacity.

Try not to over schedule activities in the first few weeks back. Children need time to readjust

to school demands before adding extras.

Avoid harsh self talk. If mornings feel chaotic or you forget something, it doesn’t mean you’re

bad at routines. It means you’re human.

And most importantly, don’t expect instant calm. Regulation takes time.

Creating connection alongside structure

Structure without connection can feel controlling, especially for sensitive children. Balance

routine with moments of closeness. A few minutes of play, a shared joke, a cuddle before

bed.

Connection builds cooperation. When children feel safe, routines become easier to follow.

A gentle reminder as the New Year begins

You don’t need a perfect reset. You need a kind one. January is not about becoming a

different parent. It’s about supporting your family back into rhythm at a pace that works for

your nervous systems.

If things feel messy, that’s okay. You are learning what works for your family. ADHD

parenting is not about rigid routines. It’s about flexible structure, compassion and

understanding.

Take it one day at a time. You and your child are doing the best you can with the brains you

have.

And that is more than enough.

With calm and compassion

Lauren O’Carroll

Founder of Positively Parenting